Running Away

It's Sunday night around 8pm, and that means my last weekend to relax during the month of April is drawing to a close. I have a 5k each of the next 3 weekends. I do not know for sure what I was thinking, but I'll tell you that these things always seem like much better ideas the farther away they are, and therefore seem like the worst idea anyone's ever had, ever, once I'm 5 minutes into a race.

I think, to be honest, the busier I am with this training stuff, the more I forget about, well, everything else. And that is exactly how I like it. While my motivation hasn't slowed a single bit, I've kind of been feeling like I lost that intense drive and focus I had for weeks. While that might be kind of a good thing (that level of intensity was leaving me bone tired, sleep deprived and unable to lose a single ounce), I'd like to get some of it back. I found myself headed to the gym on Wednesday night at 9:00, not because I physically felt like I needed to go, but because mentally I felt like I needed to go. I made a joke this week to one of my friends about running from my problems (haha, get it?), but sometimes I think it's more true than I'd like to admit- I need to be moving, just so there's no time to stop and think.

But to be honest, I think it's a sensational solution to escape what's bugging me. These first 4 months of 2009 have been leaps and bounds better than the last 4 months of 2008, so I'd like to think I'm on the right track (get it, track? leaps and bounds? gee, I'm so witty today, and I swear I didn't do it on purpose). And I know that I have lots of other things to focus on- hello, bicycle that's still leaning against my kitchen table and new training bathing suit with the tags still on- and that should be sufficient enough to get me going in high gear again. Sometimes I know I'm too hard on myself. Sometimes I wish I wasn't. But there is no time when I have been able to figure out how not to be.